Friday, February 22, 2008

Sloppy Seconds

Sick! Stop using my razor!
Alright, I think I need to set up a Mach trial with my roommates to see who's been using my razor. The first time was a few months ago when it looked like someone had shaved their back or happy trail and hadn't rinsed out my razor head. Yeah, *dry heave* I know. That forced me to discard the razor head (which is not cheap, by the way! Just ask my mom. She buys them). So, I thought I was rid of the razorous villain, but alas, not so! I will often go into the washroom and I'll notice that someone's been pilfering all my hygienic goods: toothpaste, shaving cream, rash medication (that one's a joke...kind of...). It's not so bad, anymore because I've started hiding stuff. I do feel like putting itching powder on something, though, just to see who it is (kind of like how banks dye money to catch crooks). Then I could say with confidence to my robber roommate, "Thou fool! Thou hast made a rash decision!" We'll see...

Still, though, the pirating of pastes and the bilking of Barbasol I can handle. What I didn't tell you is that someone has been using my razor—AGAIN!!!!! "And behold I was exceedingly wroth" (Bob 1:14). I think I just need to get a razor head with dried blood and pus on it and I'll just switch it out each time I finish shaving so my roommate can have a dry heave of his own. Maybe then he'll think twice about the inappropriate misappropriation of my razor.

So, in accordance with my anger, I have made a Who Done It? Wheel. I'll let yous* decide.


*yous is the eastern Ontario equivalent of the plural form of you, as in "a group of you," or y'all, as in "all y'all wanna stayfer supper?"

1 comment:

The Gardners said...

I say you buy a cheap bag of bic razors and gift one to each of your roomies.