Friday, March 28, 2008

Free Rice

I know that we LeBarons like to think we have large lexicons. Click on the Free Rice logo to determine your terminology and fight hunger. It's addicting.

I'll bet everyone that served a foreign speaking mission will have an advantage when it comes to words with Latin, Germanic, and Slavic roots. My understanding of Canadian helped when I got the word toboggan. Anyway, I haven't been able to get above 36. Let me know how you do!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Weapon of Choice

Uh oh, I found something ugly... I especially love the sweet moves he's doing on the escalator and the part where he has his hands in his pockets right after he jumps off of the table. I wonder if I would like this as much if it weren't Christopher Walken.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Oooooooh, diiiish!

I'm not sure who it is in my apartment that thinks the dishwasher can somehow pressure wash the innards of a crockpot and that the beef stew remnants that they failed to rinse from the pot will magically disappear and not get baked onto the glasses, silverware, plates and every other innocent bystander that was supposed to be washed. Yes, I say that I'm not sure who the culinary culprit is, but I have fallen victim to his antics on more than one occasion. The last time he struck it looked like he had placed a half-empty jar of salsa on the bottom rack, which completely annihilated the cups, the bowls, and half of the silverware. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you should have to have a degree in condimentary education to know that that's a no, no. Meanwhile, I'm the guy scraping the baked flakes of food off of the dishes. Come on guys, throw the jar away or at least rinse it out before you resort to the dishwasher. That's why we have disposals.

Anyway, I inserted a snippet from a letter I sent to a friend about a similar dishaster I had about six weeks ago. Feel free to read and share any experiences you've had with dishing it out or getting dished. Also state whether you dry heaved.
How is your day going so far? Mine was going okay at first, but I got pretty grossed out while I was eating breakfast. I had a roommate that was sleeping on the couch this morning, so I didn't want to turn on the light in the kitchen because I thought he would probably wake up. I poured a bowl of cereal and then took it up to my room. I took a bite, but as I was pulling the spoon out of my mouth, I could feel a bunch of crap with my lip that was stuck on the inside of the spoon. I saw it and felt like gagging. That stuff grosses me out. So, then I went downstairs and grabbed another spoon from the dark kitchen drawer and started eating my cereal in the dark. That time I felt a bunch of crap stuck on the bottom of of the spoon. It was so sick. I made sure to give the next utensil a thorough feel before I recommenced spooning."

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I guess I'm too chicken

Yesterday I was shopping at Smiths and somehow missed the Pringle aisle, but I did happen upon a chicken fajita mix in the meat department, replete with chopped onions, and peppers. It was one of those "just add frying pan" thingamajigs. It looked like a pretty good deal. It was the butcher's special, and you know how I am with specials. So anyway, I threw down the two and a half bones required to make the purchase, but when I got home I forgot to put it in the fridge. This morning, my roommate Devin told me that I had left it on the shelf with the bread and canned foods. What the? Hmmmm...what was I doing. It seems like I'm Neil's son sometimes. Except his would be more like, "I just can't find my eye glasses. It's weird because they're usually in my pocket, but I've got a screw driver in my pocket and when I went to take that back there was some chicken fajita mix in the toolbox, so that must mean..."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Devin told me I should just be careful, but if the chicken were his, he would probably still eat it. Come on, Devin, I was born in the night, but I wasn't born last night! Fearing salmonella, I told him it was only a couple bucks and that I would probably just throw it away. Then he asked if he could have it! Haha, he said, "I'm from Idaho Bob, we don't really care. We drop a steak in the manure and just wipe it off!" He's a character.

P.S. Why does "fajita" not get recognized by the spell-checker but "thingamajig" does?
P.P.S. I was going to throw a lol or two in there, but I know how some of you hate it.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Daylight Savings

Imagine my surprise when I went into the washroom to get ready for bed and came out and checked the time on my cell phone and an hour and fifteen minutes had passed. "What, did I pass out while I was flossing my teeth? Are both of my kidneys still here?" I was worried. I'm not a drunkard, so this was my first encounter with not being able to account for time–it scared the saving daylight out of me! It's funny, though, because I was in my car on Friday, driving to work, just thinking about how much I hate losing an hour of sleep for daylight savings. I suppose maybe it's better that I didn't know. It's like ripping off the Band-aid. I say that now, but it still bugged me, because I would've gone to bed earlier if I would've known; but whatever, there's no turning back time, at least not until autumn.

Saturday, March 8, 2008


Carrie, Joe, and I had a DDR last night!—not to be confused with a DTR, a conversation so many of us have had at the onset of a relationship. Joe surprised Carrie with an early birthday present, namely Dance Dance Revolution. I was trying to just be limber, like Justin Timberlake advised, however all my attempts proved futile. If I were ever in the "raise your hand if you feel less coordinated than you did an hour ago" category, last night was it. I really did enjoy playing the game though. I felt like I was getting better by the end, after I took on a more systematic approach and stopped flailing my legs about like a river dancer. So, we all know that Carrie has a master's in dance, but who was last night's MVD, you ask? Joseph. As he puts it, he's a "Dance Dance Revolution savant." Haha, I had never witnessed such a spectacle! It was priceless to see my polar bear brother bust out a 154 step combo like it was no big deal. I didn't know that trade school offered a degree in graphic design with an emphasis in Dance Dance Revolution. I'm interested to see how the rest of the family would fare in a dance off. I propose a March Madness tourney with brackets. In my minds eye, I envision a sweaty night of laughter, intense dancing, and possible coverage by ESPN Plus. We should probably invite Linda Adams Kessler, too.

Friday, March 7, 2008

St. Georgeless

It was kind of bummer when, after I had traded my Friday night shift for this week to free up a weekend for St. George, I was scheduled to work a double-shift on Saturday. My friends an I make an annual trip to St. George to stay in the Boyer's condo at Las Palmas. It's a trip that I've always looked forward to, but I had to sit it out this year. But, maybe instead of being pissed I'll pistol whip my brother Joe in a game of Halo tonight. We'll see. Actually, I'm in an atypically good mood this morning. I've been walking around campus with a grin on my face and smiling eyes, as opposed to the blank stare of apathy I usually have on my face, or the unintentional serial-killeresque glare that I've been told to display when all the blood in my head rushes to my thoughts and forgets about my face. The strange thing about being chipper today is that I have no idea why, but it feels good; and it makes me want to see everyone I know because it might be contagious.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Are you for real?

I'm currently working as a BYU operator, which is pretty cool, I guess. I get paid lots and lots of money, which is why I've stayed on board; but, sometimes I get some interesting calls. There are times that the calls are unique because they're funny questions, but sometimes I just talk to stupid people. In the words of Elder Oaks, "There are a lot of stupid people in this world!" I would have to say that I agree. This girl called yesterday and said, "Hey, so there's this thing that's like at the Provo East Stake or something, and the religion department is doing you know anything about that?" "Are you serious?" I thought. "No, I actually don't have any information about that." I told her. She continued, "Well, there are professors and they're going to be like talking about stuff, like it's a fireside or something. Elder Christensen of the Seventy will be there. Does that help?" I wanted to say, "I was like invited to this birthday party and it's in Provo. Do you know where it is? Really? Well, I'm supposed to meet some friends from my mission, does that help?" Nope. Anyway, I probably would've just connected her with the religion department had they been open, so we just found her the address for the stake center. Maybe I should've just given directions. "Okay, you'll pass this house with a mailbox or something, and then you'll see a street that's like 600 or 700 south, then you'll turn right..."