Friday, May 30, 2008

Double Dribble

The other day I woke up late for work. I vaguely remember looking at the clock at 8:20 am and thinking, “I should get up,” but I was sooo tired and my room is in the basement and is really dark. My dad came in at ten minutes to nine and roused me from my slumber, so I hurried and showered and got ready. I went upstairs and my sister had made me a breakfast sandwich with an egg, ham & cheese. It was wrapped in foil so I took it out to my car and started eating it on my way to work. I guess the egg didn't cook long enough to make the yolk hard, because it erupted when I gave it the ol' yolkey pokey with my teeth and oozed like lava all over my shirt and then onto my car seat between my legs. Double dribble. I was so frustrated. The yoke was upon me. I figured I was already late for work so I went into the washroom and grabbed some paper towels to clean my car seat. I guess I really should say the seat of my car—I’m not a baby. But, I was worried for two reasons:
  1. I thought my car might start smelling like 100-year-old egg meets piña colada pine tree air freshener
  2. I thought I might be unable to lift the stain and people would look upon the stain with disdain and think I had "a accident"
Well, I guess even Bob lives happily ever after sometimes. The stain came out like Elton John.

P.S. Aren't you proud that I didn't use eggselent or eggsactly? They both incubated in my mind, but never hatched. They felt too contrived. Eggreed?

6 comments:

Bryce said...

It's good to hear from you again in the blogging world. I love your puns. They bring back memories.

Becky said...

Number one: say bathroom, you're an American. Just because you served in Canada doesn't mean you can talk like them. Number two: I guess I don't have a number two.

Bobby said...

Becky, it doesn't matter if I'm American, I always wash what I say!

Andrew and Ariel said...

Bob's back and better than ever. What eggzactly happened to your shirt? A lot of muppets don't have to wear shirts at all,(e.g. Kermit, Animal, Gonzo, most of the peguins), so you can always remember that for next time. And you're not fooling anyone, we all know you sit in a carseat when you drive. In fact, come to think of it, last week I saw a headline that read, "Shirtless Muppet Seen Driving in Carseat with Egg all over Face"
Wow, this comment is turning into a post itself. Bye Muppet.

Brittany said...

Bob, I think that this blog left me happy and happier.

Krista said...

clever clever. you are a lebaron with your words boy.