Sunday, June 22, 2008

Parannoyed

That's the double feeling I get every summer when it's warm enough for mosquitos to get back in the swing of things and start sucking at life. Mosquitos bite. Once I see one, I start feeling tiny little mosquito legs all over my body and have been known to smack myself in the head or flail my arms about in a paranoia panic. I'm trying to think of the worst places they've ended up. I know I've smashed one in my ear before (which sounds like popping a zit, by the way) and it seems like they've gotten my forehead, my forearms, and my forefingers. The worst was the time that I went camping right after I had washed my hair with a fragrant Herbal Essences shampoo and a whole swarm of them mauled me. Actually, the worst time was last July in Smiths Falls out on Brother McKeever's boat when we were fishing on the marshy lake in his backyard. It was all fun and games until the sun went down and we glided right into a hovering sphere of bugs. Gnat cool. I was already doused in deet, but it didn't matter, they loved me like a fat kid loves cake. It felt like they were in my nose, in my ears, on my neck, on my arms, and on my head crawling through my hair. Gross!

2 comments:

Krista said...

yikes! this post makes me want to swat those critters and I'm at my house.

mikemetcalf said...

I was playing horseshoes with my brothers while out camping once and a mosquito landed on my face. Neglecting the fact that I was holding a heavy metal object in my hand, I proceeded to swat at the little devil and ended up leveling myself to the ground, blood gushing from my forehead, laughing hysterically. Stupid mosquitoe.