Saturday, June 28, 2008

Turd Time's the Charm!

I didn't start noticing it until after I met up with my brother, Joe, for lunch at his work and overheard Chandler talking with him about how their office parking spots were directly under a drop zone for bird turd. Joseph had just washed his car earlier that day and by lunchtime there was already excrement cemented on the hood of his Cadillac. It wasn't until later that I noticed that my Nissan had also fallen victim to the pigeon pooparazzi in the parking lot. There were two gigantic jobbies on the hood and roof of my car. Crap. But, I guess on the bright side, I was able to get two birds with one car.

My car was due for a wash anyway, so this morning I took it to the car wash away the double deuce. Later in the day I went to drop off something for my brother and hadn't been away from my car but ten minutes and my hood was again claimed in a raid. When it happens three times in one week, I cry fowl! It's funny how it works, though. In my own experience, birds usually either strike immediately after a carwash or on the day that you lose your bus pass in Toronto and even after scrubbing it with a damp napkin it won't really come out of your jacket, and you can't go home and change because it will take too long to walk home and you can't take the bus home because you lost your bus pass and your companion just keeps laughing at you. Don't worry, I'm not bitter. Speaking of bird droppings, did you hear that the Pope got the bird flu? Apparently he got it from one of his Cardinals. Oh yeah, and what did the pigeon say to the statue? Pardon me, do you happen to have any gray poop on you?


Michemily said...

Very punny.

Lizzie Jones said...

Bless you for using the word "jobbie"- 30 points.

Joseph said...

Three things:

1. If there were a red card for too many puns in one post, I would deliver it here. I agree that poopies on the car are uncalled for.

2. Once I was walking home from jr. high, swinging my arms. A bird flew overhead, and a poo splattered across my hand, wrist and forearm. I felt truly violated.

3. In "Last Comic Standing" this week one of the comics talked about some of the uses and skills of homeless people. He said he once saw a homeless guy stand up and punch a pigeon out of air mid-flight. Can you do that?

Davia said...

so creative...good writing proud to say i know you...but not like the scripture meaning "to know", if you know what i mean.

Krista said...

very funny bobby. so in Denmark to get pooped on is a form of good luck. You must have a lot of it at least this week!