Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Domino's Pizza Proverbs

Domino's Pizza is seeking out savory morsels of meaty wisdom. They have a new website, Pizza Proverbs, that asks users to alter popular proverbs by substituting prudent pizza insights.

I wrote down a few, but I wasn't proud of the preponderance of the proverbs. What pizza proverbs would you add?
  • A pepperoni pizza cannot change its spots
  • If the hungry lead the hungry then they shall both fall into the deep dish
  • Order for others what you would have them order for you
  • The pepperoni is mightier than the sausage
  • A pizza sliced against itself cannot stand
  • Pizza is where the box is
  • An ounce of salami is worth a pound of anchovies
  • Spare the pizza, punish the child
  • The sausage doesn't fall far from the cheese
  • Sauce is thicker than water
  • Hunger tends to repeat itself
  • A slice in hand is worth two in the box

Monday, July 26, 2010

Jamba Juice Cheeseburger Chill Smoothie

I love how this feels like a McDonald's commercial. Jamba Juice is trying to create some stir by aiming at fast food restaurants getting into the smoothie business. They don't think the two businesses blend well.

DirecTV Opulence Commercial | "I jump in it."

Is like best commercial ever. I love the miniature giraffe at the end almost as much as I love speaking in a Russian accent.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Naked Fridge Forager

Last night I had a barbecue with some friends, played a few song requests, and then about ten of us went down to the Spanish Fork Fair. A few friends had their faces painted and a bunch of us went on a ride called "The Zipper," which was amazing.
I'd gladly go on the ride again in a heartbeat. You may not be able to tell by the picture, but the pods spin in circles and are connected to cables that spin around the main arm of the ride, all while the pendulum swings in full circles in one directions and then stops and goes the other way. Something about spinning that much makes me smile and laugh like a little kid.

Later that night we went back to a friend's apartment and lit a ton of fireworks to celebrate pioneer day. We blasted MoTab singing "Come, Come Ye Saints" for the first few fireworks to help replicate the feeling of listening to Lee Greenwood or Neil Diamond during Independence Day fireworks.

After a few rounds of fireworks I looked across the street and what to my wondering eyes did a appear, but a naked guy shamelessly foraging through the fridge in plain sight, unprotected by his enormous kitchen window sans blinds. "Don't mind the man in the buff across the street," I advised. We were all shocked. That guy put the flabber in flabbergasted. How lewd!

Once we had been exposed to the naked truth, we decided it was time to light our two giant firework finales. We had just lit them when someone driving a white car came and intentionally ran over our fireworks. They both fell over onto their sides and one rolled towards all of the spectators who were sitting on the curb. It's all fun and games until you get sprayed by the Golden Shower (name of the firework). Luckily, everyone escaped in time to avoid a sulfuric scalding. The end.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Taxidermist Strikes Again

Rodent-carcass-encased beverages anyone? When I saw this picture at work I immediately started chortling in my cubicle, the office-appropriate lol equivalent. These are way cooler than the sleeve thingies for Hot Pockets. Here's the original link to the article in The Consumerist that Brooke sent me if you want to read more about it. Cheers to the Scottish brewery for the epic win on packaging.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Food at Work

At work they say if you put stuff in the fridge, you need to put your name on it or it will be thrown away. I never put my name on my food, though. I like to live life on the edge. I'm rebellious like that.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Pickles at Lunchtime

How does the pungence of pickles permeate the plastic membrane that is my lunch bag and emanate into the air while the bag is yet unopened? Some things we'll never know.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Meet Mayhem

I just saw these "Meet Mayhem" commercials from Allstate today and thought they were really clever.
I've come to appreciate good insurance commercials ever since my capstone advertising class at BYU, where I spent the better part of four months doing research about insurance and then created an ad campaign for State Farm.

P.S. Almost immediately after I posted this I was informed by two friends (Wendy and Brooke) that the kid who came up with these commercials, Chris Rodriguez, is a BYU grad working for Leo Burnett in Chicago, living in my soon-to-be-again singles branch. Props to him.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Drop Zone

Dear Perched Pooper,

If you're going to bomb my car, please hit it directly instead of grazing the passenger side window. The window smears are unsightly and have to stop.

Your human,

Bob LeBaron

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Saggy Bum

On my first day of work, they guy who set up my work station said, "Oh, and by the way, just so you know, we don't have any better chairs, so you'll just have to make this one work." It seemed weird to me at the time, because usually when someone gives a foreboding precursor like that, it means there's something wrong; but my chair was fine. Or was it?

It wasn't until three weeks into my internship that I noticed my fanny kept sagging through the bottom of my chair. I looked under my orange chair cover and noticed there was a snapped bungie cord right in the butt bull's-eye of my seat, which seemed to be the root cause of my derriere detriment.

"Weird," I thought, as I tried to wiggle around every six minutes in my seat to avoid the falling through of the crack. But, it was to no avail. It was like trying to lie in a broken hammock. Plus, my back was starting to hurt.

Brooke suggested that get the Tush Cush, but I couldn't muster up enough courage to buy an anal bum cover for my chair.
So, I went into the conference room and found a chair that looked identical to mine and wheeled it over to my desk. Problem solved. Not. Did I mention the new chair was even more broken than the first one? So, I wheeled over a third chair to my desk, which finally worked. The only problem is that the cover on my new chair doesn't cover up a pesky pole that periodically pokes my leg. But I hide the discomfort well. No one at work can read my poked face.

Friday, July 16, 2010

BYU's Old Spice Spoof

I've already showed this to a lot of you, but I thought BYU did a really good job with this parody ad for the Harold B. Lee Library. Props to them on the production. They've gotten a lot of shout outs, the most impressive of which, was their mention on the Friday Morning Stir of Agency Spy. They also landed an article in the Deseret News. My favorite part is when the celestial sandwich appears towards the end.


Just in case you've been living under a rock for the past six months and don't know what concept they copied. Here is the original Old Spice commercial.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Old Spice Boat Commercial: All Over This

You may have seen this new Old Spice commercial already, but if you haven't, you need to see it: it's amazing. Tommy showed it to me on Sunday and I still laugh every time he says, "But probably this...all over this."

Monday, July 12, 2010

SURPRISE!

The drink vending machine at work costs 50 cents per soda; but there's one button on the machine labeled "Surprise" that spews out mystery cans for 25 cents a pop. From the day I saw it, my interest was piqued. I was soda curious about what kind of bevy I would levy with the button. Truth be told, I haven't been let down yet. Today was a Diet Coke. It kinda makes me wish there was a mystery button on the food vending machine, as well, so I would have a good excuse if someone ever saw me eating Funyuns.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Banana Racing

Brooke sent me a picture this morning that made my day. I guess there's a 4th of July festival at Lake St. Clair where they have Banana Racing, which involves monkeys racing on dogback.