Monday, August 23, 2010

Voice Recognition

My phone has a button that allows me to use voice activated commands, such as "Call Broseph." Upon hearing this, the robotic female voice in my phone typically responds "Calling, Brusuph mobuhl," and thereupon calls Joe.

My phone is usually pretty accurate in detecting what name I've said (partly because I pronounce names precisely how I envision a robot would [ie: BYU Info=Bayou Info]), but every once in a while it's like my phone just stops trying.

"Call Ruth LeBurn," I command the phone with unvaried, humdrum intonation monotony.

Female Robot Voice responds: "Did you say, Hristo Gangov?"

I'm like, c'mon! That's not even close! It's so annoying. It makes me wonder how we'll ever have robot maids and butlers like the Jetsons if our current robots can't even handle simple voice recognition tasks.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Herbert the Hermit Crab

My friend, Courtney, sent me this text message yesterday:

Tell me a story.

Here was my response:

"Herbert the Hermit Crab"

Once upon a time, there was a hermit crab named Herbert. Herbert wasn’t much of a hermit—at least he didn’t want to be. Herbert wanted to eat kelp with the eels, wrestle with starfish, and play hide and go swim with the sea horses. But the feeling was not mutual.

You see, Herbert had a problem. Herbert had halitosis. In fact, Herbert’s breath was much more ghastly than the gassy bubbles the humans often let out of their backsides. Herbert’s death-breath was so odious that it had practically made him enemies with everyone. Even the anemone was an enemy.

Herbert tried to get rid of the fishy smell of his breath, but to no avail. Then one day, Dr. Pufferfish came to town. Herbert would have ‘puffered’ not to tell the doctor of his problem, but the evidence was rampant and lonely Herbert was ‘urchin’ to feel accepted.

So, Herbert went to Dr. Pufferfish, who prescribed some Mentos. The doctor called them "fresh makers" and told Herbert they would help. But, they didn’t help. Not one bit.

Then Dr. Pufferfish noticed that Herbert’s breath didn’t reek at all. The putrid stench was coming from Herbert’s smelly shell.

“Leapin' barnacles!” Herbert exclaimed. “Such a simple solution to free myself from this fetid funk.

“Get the shell away from me!” Herbert ordered the doctor.

And so he did.

And Herbert lived happily ever after.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Quiznos "More Meat" Commercial

**It looks like the commercial was offensive so Quiznos removed it from YouTube, but you can still watch it here.

Epic win. I love it when the smiley black kid winks at the end.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Salsa at Work

I made salsa for the marketing department at work today. When I arrived, I told the art director to start playing Mexican music when he wanted to partake of the homemade goodness. At about 10 o'clock, a Mariachi mix of "Hotel California" sounded from his office and, like pack of Pavlovian dogs, we all paused from work and congregated in his office to savor the salsa.

One guy loved the salsa. He told me that he used to just think of me as "the intern," but now he thinks of me as "the intern-who-makes-salsa." Climbing that corporate ladder one rung at a time.

Everyone asked me questions about moving to Chicago, and we somehow got on the topic of scary neighborhoods in Chicago; so, naturally, I told them about the time I got dropped off at a gas station in South Chicago, accent and all. They loved it.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Monofaces and Younicorns

I'm probably really late in the game in making this discovery, but Brooke showed me Monoface the other day, and I got a kick out of it. It's an interactive New Year's card made by the ad agency, Mono, a while back. Just keep hitting shuffle and the fun don't stop. Gotta love the wealth of lazy eyes found in the shuffle. It's almost as classic as seeing Bea's mug stamped across the family portrait.

After seeing Monoface, Joe showed me some of the iPhone apps that Mono makes. They make an app called photo'clock, which features 720 different pictures, one for each minute of the day.

They also make Younicorn, an essential app which allows users to take pictures of loved ones and add unicorn horns and rainbow backdrops, for that extra magical touch.