Thursday, August 19, 2010

Herbert the Hermit Crab

My friend, Courtney, sent me this text message yesterday:

Tell me a story.

Here was my response:

"Herbert the Hermit Crab"

Once upon a time, there was a hermit crab named Herbert. Herbert wasn’t much of a hermit—at least he didn’t want to be. Herbert wanted to eat kelp with the eels, wrestle with starfish, and play hide and go swim with the sea horses. But the feeling was not mutual.

You see, Herbert had a problem. Herbert had halitosis. In fact, Herbert’s breath was much more ghastly than the gassy bubbles the humans often let out of their backsides. Herbert’s death-breath was so odious that it had practically made him enemies with everyone. Even the anemone was an enemy.

Herbert tried to get rid of the fishy smell of his breath, but to no avail. Then one day, Dr. Pufferfish came to town. Herbert would have ‘puffered’ not to tell the doctor of his problem, but the evidence was rampant and lonely Herbert was ‘urchin’ to feel accepted.

So, Herbert went to Dr. Pufferfish, who prescribed some Mentos. The doctor called them "fresh makers" and told Herbert they would help. But, they didn’t help. Not one bit.

Then Dr. Pufferfish noticed that Herbert’s breath didn’t reek at all. The putrid stench was coming from Herbert’s smelly shell.

“Leapin' barnacles!” Herbert exclaimed. “Such a simple solution to free myself from this fetid funk.

“Get the shell away from me!” Herbert ordered the doctor.

And so he did.

And Herbert lived happily ever after.

1 comment:

cdsmith said...

I loved this and therefore I sent it on to Eth