Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Chi-clone

So, the Chi-clone wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There were no witches getting hit by flying houses, no capsized vessels, and, surprisingly, not too much rain; albeit, right when I woke up, it was a pretty steady downpour and there were white caps in the harbor of Lake Michigan. Apparently, everyone who tried to go to work at 8:00 got absolutely clobbered by the rain, but by the time I left for work at 8:20, the storm had ceased. Everything was fine. No wind. No rain. Nada.

The wind picked up that afternoon, though. The building at work was subtly swaying with the wind, rocking back and forth like a cruise ship. I got used to it after a while, but the lights swinging above my head like the pendulum of a grandfather clock were a constant reminder. The powerful gusts of wind flexed the glass windows, making the walls next to my cubicle creak. The eerie sounds made it felt like I was working on a pirate ship, 'cept fer we be speakin' proper English.

The crazy thing is, I was only on the 8th floor. Made me wonder what kind of party the wind was having up on 34.

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Great Lakes Cyclone

Apparently it's gonna be bad. Severe storms are set to hit Chicago tomorrow morning around 4am, slow down tomorrow night, and then pick up again on Wednesday morning and last until 7pm Wednesday night. The National Weather Service is calling it "The Great Lakes Cyclone" and says will rank among the most powerful cyclones in the last hundred years. It's predicted to be the equivalent of a category three hurricane, so watch out for flying shopping carts and road signs, falling trees, and smashing pumpkins. Seriously.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Old Spice Wrestlers

I stumbled upon an Old Spice commercial while I was supposed to be studying for the CPA exam this weekend. It's an old favorite of mine that I love for two reasons: first, because it's so awkward; second, because I was on the Olympus Junior High wrestling team and used to rock the singlet.

I would attach a picture of me in my singlet back in the day, but I didn't feel like using the pixelate tool in Photoshop tonight, so you don't get the privilege. I was pretty strong back then, though. Have you ever seen a 100lb boy in a singlet? It's pretty intimidating. Especially when his head weighs 30. I actually missed my only match one year because I had to take a safety test for woodshop. I was so mad. Mr. Pixton was so lame.

One funny thing, though... We learned this move called the chicken wing and to put someone in the chicken wing they have to be on their stomach and you put your hands underneath their elbows and pull their arms up behind them like chicken wings and you walk sideways across the mat while they're writhing in agony and they eventually flip over on their back and you pin them. Yeah, I know, it doesn't make sense, but hopefully you fighters out there follow what I'm sayin'.

Well, it was while we were learning this move that I figured out that I'm freakishly double-jointed in my shoulders. We were supposed to lie on our stomachs and bend our arms like wings so the other wrestler could practice the move. I wasn't really paying attention when the coach explained the move to us so I just laid on my back and made wings that came in front of my body instead of behind. The kid I was wrestling with just looked at me and said, "That's weird. I don't think you're supposed to be able to do that." It was so funny and even more funny because I had a bowl cut at the time.

Friday, October 22, 2010


It's interesting being on the other side of the coin for recruiting. You notice people rubbing sweaty palms on their pants. Awkwardly placed nervous laughs. Jittery legs bouncing. Onslaughts of overly-interested questions. Weary lips from plastered smiles.

A kid sitting across from me at the dinner table made eye contact with me and then leaned in to ask me a question as I masticated a meaty morsel of filet mignon.

"Any final words of advice before interviews tomorrow?" he asked.

I mustered up the best straight-faced look I could and stared him down the barrel.

"Yeah, don't screw up."

Just easin' the tension.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Teenage Dream

I found this treasure a couple of weeks ago and thought I'd finally pass it along. It requires no explanation, aside from the fact that this kid is 16. And a facial expression mastermind. And creepy. And the spawn of John Daker.

P.S. The comments on this video were amazing. After 11 million views they ought to be. My favorite was the first one I saw:

"2:51 Way to give me nightmares kid..."