Monday, November 22, 2010

Oatmeal Explosion

I once burned microwavable popcorn three times in a row. Don't ask me how, because I don't know. One thing I do know, though, is that I never heard the end of it. And so, it is with hesitation that I share this, but I think you should know: today I botched instant oatmeal. I filled a large soup cup with water and oatmeal and threw it in the microwave at work, and after about a-minute-and-a-half, I smelled burning. I opened the microwave door and saw strawberry oatmeal splattered all over the place. I grabbed an army of paper towels and disconglobulated the microwave tray with towel after towel until it was finally clean. The seam of the paper oatmeal container was singed with a dark brown burn and the cup was boiling lava hot. Morsels of oatmeal magma clung to the outer rim of the container. I quickly stirred the oatmeal, but as I pulled out the plastic spoon, I noticed it was all warped and disfigured. It was at that point that I realized I had no idea whether I had cooked the plastic spoon in the microwave with the oatmeal for two minutes or whether the spoon had melted of its own accord. I couldn't stomach the thought of ingesting melted plastic, so I just threw it all away. I learned an important lesson today, though. Mainly that "disfigured" is fun to say with an Irish accent. Just make sure to pronounce it as "disfiggered."

1 comment:

Michemily said...

Nice work. I always seem to explode microwavable oatmeal, no matter how long it's in there for, because it never seems done until after it's exploded.